Cree comedian Don Burnstick has been known to pull a Jeff Foxworthy on his audiences—and leave them rolling in the aisles.
Whereas Jeff Foxworthy is famous for “You might be a redneck if…”, Burnstick changes it to “You might be a redskin if…”
Both Foxworthy and Burnstick are entitled to use their possibly-offensive R-words of choice—they’re entitled to say anything, really—but we at ICTMN have an editorial policy against casually throwing around the word “redskin.”
So with sincere apologies to Don—really, Don, it’s funny when you say it, it’s just not so funny when we do—we’re amending his catchprase just a little for this list.
Burnstick has always got gigs on the horizon—here’s where you can catch him through the fall: Enoch, Alberta (July 17); Kananaskis, Alberta (July 24); Fort Alexander, Manitoba (July 30); Brantford, Ontario (August 1); Manistee, Michigan (September 11); Saskatoon, Saskatchewan (October 28-29). For his up-to-date schedule and more information, visit DonBurnstick.com.
Top 10 “You Might Be an NDN” Jokes by Don Burnstick
10. If you start a bar fight and your wife has to finish it… you might be an NDN.
9. If you point with your lips… you might be an NDN.
8. If you know how to filet bologna… you might be an NDN.
7. If you use your probation officer as a reference… you might be an NDN.
6. If you can play 15 more bingo cards than the white lady beside you… you might be an NDN.
5. If your dogs look like they’re going on a hunger strike… you might be an NDN.
4. If you ever shot a deer or moose inside your house… you might be an NDN.
3. If your pocket knife has ever been displayed as “exhibit A your honor”… you might be an NDN.
2. If people can hear your car long before they can see it… you might be an NDN.
1. If you go to AA meetings just because you’ve run out of coffee at home… you might be an NDN.