As the time for the summer school holidays has come for French schoolchildren, parents will undoubtedly hear their child say this classic phrase: “I’m bored…” We all get bored from time to time and there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, being bored is even useful, because it helps us think and change what we are doing or pay more attention to our external environment.
However, many children still need to learn how to deal with boredom. If you’re wondering what to do when kids complain about being bored (without letting them watch more TV), here are some ideas to try.
Boredom helps children learn
Boredom is slightly unpleasant, but it’s okay for kids to be bored. In fact, boredom allows children to develop a number of important skills, including:
- Endure unpleasant experiences;
- Manage frustration and regulate emotions;
- Develop your imagination;
- Solve problems, plan and organize;
- Acquire independence and autonomy.
These skills are essential for children to develop a sense of control over their own happiness and well-being.
Why do children complain about boredom?
In general, children’s lives are structured and organized for them. When children have free time, they may have difficulty thinking of and organizing things to do. If, as soon as a child complains of being bored, an adult comes to entertain him, then this child may not have the opportunity to learn to occupy himself and develop his creative mind.
Sometimes children reject all the ideas that are offered to them. They may know from experience that ultimately this will lead to a long discussion or engaging in an activity with them. In both cases, the child does not have to deal with his own boredom. So the trick is to help children come up with their own ideas, rather than suggesting what to do.
How can parents help children learn to deal with boredom?
Parents can do a lot to prepare for boredom and to help their child learn to manage their own boredom. Here are some ideas.
- Talk to your child about what they like to do, their interests and passions. Develop a menu of activities with him that he can refer to when he is bored. Younger children may want to illustrate their menu with drawings.
- Try making a list of activities your child can do without your help: a mix of new things and activities he has enjoyed in the past. Include quicker activities (like coloring or a picnic with a teddy bear), as well as longer-term projects (like a large puzzle, reading a novel, learning sports skills). Place the menu where your child can refer to it.
- Make sure toys, tools or other materials are available and accessible so your child can do what is on their list. Toys and activities don’t have to be expensive to be fun.
- Prepare your child. Inform him of the day’s plan and the time he is expected to spend on the activities on his menu. This will reassure him that he is not left to his own devices “forever”. A series of images illustrating the day’s schedule can be helpful. Before a period of free time, discuss two or three rules. For example, “Play quietly until Mom and Dad are finished and if you need to talk to us, say so,” or “Excuse me and wait until we are available.”
- At first, you can offer a reward—like a special activity with you, their favorite snack, or screen time—if your child stays well occupied for a certain amount of time. Over time, gradually phase out rewards by increasing the amount of time your child needs to find something to do, and then only offer them occasionally.
- If your child tells you they are bored, redirect them to their list. This conversation should be brief and to the point.
- If necessary, help your child get started. Some children may need help starting an activity. It may be necessary to spend a few minutes installing them. Try not to do everything yourself, but instead ask questions to help them solve problems. You can ask, “What are you going to make? What will you need for this? Where are you going to start?”
- When your child engages in an appropriate activity, praise him and give him attention. You might say, “You found something to do on your own. I’m impressed!” Stop what you’re doing from time to time to praise him for keeping busy. Do this before he loses interest, but, over time, try to gradually lengthen the time before making a comment.
While it’s important for children to learn to deal with boredom, they also need to feel valued and know that their parents want to spend time with them. Make time for your child and be available for them when you are together.
