In recent decades, the age of women at the time of giving birth to their first child has continued to retreat, from 24.2 years in 1974 to 28.1 years in 2010, then to 31 years in 2024. Lighting the duration of studies, will to build a lasting professional career, new family and couple models … Despite these various developments, the injunction to maternity remains palpable for women. The milestone of 35 years, alleged age of the collapse of their fertility, is constantly recalled to them by doctors, the media, popular representations and, of course, those around them.
“The idea that my reproductive capacities deteriorate every day a little more is a constant source of stress, explains Agathe, 33, doctoral student in history in Bordeaux. I end my thesis, it’s not time for me to have a child. But with the organic clock stories and everything we hear about the decline of the fertility of women, I am afraid of missing the mark. ” Not ready to have a child, in search of a partner or in a medically assisted procreation course, far from being carefree, the thirty -year -old women who once wish to become mothers struggle with their concerns related to maternity.
Confusion and anxieties, the common lot of many women
Women who, after 30 years, fear being infertile, Sophia Rakrouki sees it every day. And for good reason: she is an ultrasound midwife specializing in reproductive medicine in Paris. “Often, they have no particular health problem, so no reason to worry. But in the absence of information and enlightened support on the subject, it is easy to panic. ”
Today, devices such as oocyte freezing for in vitro fertilization (IVF), facilitated by bioethics law of 2021, allow women to increase their chances of getting pregnant when they judge the right time. But that is not necessarily enough to reassure the thirties. Oocyte freezing, which must take place between the 29the and the 37e Anniversary, is often done at the end of long waiting times up to two years, preventing women too close to the 37 years to benefit from it. It also does not offer results guarantees, although for Sophia Rakrouki, it represents “A real opportunity to put as much chance as possible on its side”.
Lack of sex education within the population, health professionals not always well trained, inaccurate information … “I have patients who despair of not getting pregnant when they have no sex during their fertility period. For me, the greatest cause of infertility is above all the lack of information from the population ”analyzes the midwife, which, which, has given itself the mission of popularizing the subject of female fertility on its Instagram account.
Plot information and overlooked figures
Take the 35 -year -old figure, which would mark the start of the end of women’s fertility and the start of “at risk” pregnancies. Calculated as a result of tests carried out in the 1970s by means of obsolete techniques, it is regularly cited as a landmark instead of more relevant data.
Micheline Misrahi-Abadou, doctor, professor at Paris-Saclay University, co-author with Boris Cyrulnik of the book New fertility, new families, new humanity (Odile Jacob editions) recalls that for WHO, infertility is not the inability to conceive, but the fact of not being able to conceive after a year of regular sexual intercourse. After 30 years, the fall is not as brutal as we think: “Before 30 years, 85% of couples manage to design a child after one year of regular reports. At 30, 77%are. At 35, 66% and 40 years old, 44%. Nothing therefore indicates that after 35 years, a woman can no longer have children. She will simply take longer to get pregnant than when she was 25 or 30 years old. ”
When there is infertility, it is often linked to associated diseases: disorders of the reproductive system, diabetes, autoimmune diseases, etc.
In women, the stock of eggs is established once and for all before birth, then gradually degrades between puberty and menopause, unlike men who produce sperm all their life. It is ten years before the age of menopause, which takes place between 45 and 59 years, that fertility decreases. Also, for the scientist whose work shows the preponderant impact of genetics on the reproductive capacities of patients, the best way to know where we are in terms of fertility is to question her mother. “There is an 85% chance of concordance between the age of menopause of a mother and her daughter, because it is a genetically programmed process. The best indicator is the age at which a mother was menopausal. Her daughter’s fertility will probably decrease over the ten years that will precede. “
When there is infertility, it is often linked to associated diseases: disorders of the reproductive system, diabetes, autoimmune diseases, etc. “About 40% of women who cannot have children have signs of damage to another organ. It shows us that infertility is not the common lot of all women over 35 years old and, also, that it takes regular monitoring of its health. ”
An eminently political issue
In March 2024, the amazing bellicose metaphor of President Macron on the need for a “Demographic reset” From France reminded us that the body of women and their reproductive health are still the subject of political instrumentalization. The anxiety of the thirties therefore does not come from nowhere: it is part of the continuity of political maneuvers aimed at reboosting the birth rate.
Micheline Misrahi-Abadou specifies: “In France, infertility increases by 0.3% per year, which is relatively little!” In reality, all the media noise around fertility issues does not happen by chance. “Until the 1980s, no research was financed on the subject because we bet everything on the arrival of medical assistance to procreation, which was ultimately not a miracle solution. It is because there is a drop in the birth rate that the public authorities have started to be interested in it. Except that fertility and birth rate, it has nothing to do with it! If women have fewer children, it is rarely because they are infertile, but rather because they have other life projects and are no longer determined only through maternity. ”
Fight guilt
“I was a good student: I did what was expected of me on the school level, pushed as far as possible, made sure to have a good CV. But after 30 years, it is as if the gaze of society had changed. Suddenly, it’s like I was late, out of step “deplores Agathe.
Many have indeed the feeling of having done what was expected of them (continuation of studies, professional success, financial independence), before being criticized, as soon as they entered in the thirties, of not having yet found a partner or family founded. In our societies where gender inequalities are legion and where the ground of parenting continues to be deserted by public power, pushing women to endorse the majority of parental responsibilities, not surprising that many postpone the deadline.
Other ways to feel guilty women: invoke stress, pollution, endocrine disruptors present in certain cosmetics, overweight, alcohol or smoking, cited as being able to harm fertility, making them responsible by ricochet in the event of difficulty getting pregnant. “I pay attention to any health level so as not to be penalized afterwards, ABSUNDE Agathe. But when I see my companion who lives his thirties as his twenty, without the slightest concern, I realize how much, on this question too, the mental charge still goes to women. “
“Women are very alone in the face of all this, Considers Sophia Rakrouki. It is obvious that you have to pay attention to your health. But that does not give the company the right to feel guilty those who find it difficult to get pregnant on the pretext that they have not taken care of them enough or do it “too late”. “
And the fertility of men, in all this? Recent studies show that the concentration of sperm has decreased in the past fifty years due to endocrine disruptors. “But it shouldn’t be citizens to be wary of everything. Rather than putting pressure on individuals, the public authorities should work to document with precision which environmental factors can harm fertility and take the necessary measures. Further research on the subject is absolutely necessary “underlines Micheline Misrahi-Abadou.
And live your life
So how can we live around thirty as well as possible? Probably by trying to be benevolent towards oneself, knowing that each does their best, whatever their age and their journey, in our still strongly unequal societies. For Sophia Rakrouki, “The most important thing is to take care of yourself, physically and mentally, and get help in the event of suffering”.
The midwife encourages worried women to consult fertility specialists, to be reassured and oriented. “These professionals are there to welcome the concerns of each and recall that in the end, there are few women who never manage to have children.” Micheline Misrahi-Abadou advises consulting in the event of unsuccessful attempts after a year, and six months beyond 35 years, to ensure that there is no associated pathology.
This last place of many hopes in research on the genetic causes of infertility to be able to soon understand better, treat these issues and relieve women of a weight that is still too heavy to wear. “A real revolution is underway. Research will soon allow us to better know the causes of infertility and to offer truly personalized medicine. But for a fairer world, it must be accompanied by deep societal developments so that the challenges of fertility and parenting no longer incumbent up solely on women, but to society as a whole. “
